


Curtain Wars

by greenbucket



Category: Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch
Genre: Curtain Fic, F/M, Gen, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 04:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10689642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenbucket/pseuds/greenbucket
Summary: Everyone has opinions on interior design, as told through Beverley's Twitter.





	Curtain Wars

**Author's Note:**

> Based entirely of [this post.](http://sixth-light.tumblr.com/post/153762103244/themardia-sixth-light-themardia)

**Bev** @followrivers  
setting scene: Peter still trying to move in but still look cool, Nightingale around. P: *researching curtains b/c mine suck*. N: oh no  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
P: ??? N: oh. well. the pattern. P: it's mature. N: if you're quite sure ........ P: *suspiciously continues scrolling*  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
P: alright then what's wrong w/ them? N: the pattern doesnt fit the mood of this room at all. P: the mood? you care about this since when?  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
P has lots of interior design opinions abt the folly he’s held back. N actively listening. P commends the cleaning job tho @jollygoodcook  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
personally I’m not that fussed so long as theyre functional and ok to look at but I’ll leave them to it  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
though the curtains Peter was looking at were nauseating tbh. Maybe more fussed than I thought.  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
N: well that’s just not practical, Peter. have you even considered snipers? P: well I'll be fully honest w/ u and say I can't say I have.  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
N: perfect for following ur silhouettes at night. P: thanks?? for the insight???  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
N has invited himself shopping w/ us, I've agreed for taste & hilarity. P has moved on to throw pillows, tune in next week for wilko fun

* * *

**Bev** @followrivers  
Replying to @jollygoodcook I promise you Peter doesn’t think the folly is ugly. P was all: are u tweeting this??? Me: yup. P: Jesus. molly if you're reading-  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
Replying to@valkyrieninja it's already my house!! it doesn't need doing up!! I appreciate it & P is cute when he's invested but sometimes we have other things to do  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
Replying to @valkyrieninja well 

* * *

**Bev** @followrivers  
P disappointed that ones he liked only available online, N & I sharing our relief. N: oh dear how unfortunate. Me: we'll struggle by somehow  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
Realised we forgot to measure the window. magic will have to do  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
Me: I like these ones. P: *feels them, holds them up to the light, reads all tags, stands back to get the full aesthetic effect* hm. N: hm.  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
P: are these up to ur standards nightingale or will the fae get personally offended at the colour palette and curse us all for all eternity?  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
N: hm.  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
I think P still hasn’t got over N calling his grey favourite boring, N hasn’t got over P calling his different shade of grey favourite boring  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
I have already got myself a promised right to veto. thank god.  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
P, on floral: I don't know about you but I prefer my curtains not to give the impression I'm 85 years old. N: I think they're pleasing. #85isthenew40  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
I vetoed the floral. P smug, N acting indifferent. P moved on to fall of curtain vs shape of window & room  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
P: these are basic architectural principles, I can explain them if you like. N: but look at this fabric. would blood wash out? unlikely.  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
recent google search: 'architectural principles of curtains'. who knew there were curtain wars? http://www.harvarddesignmagazine.org/issues/16/curt...  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
they’ve been discussing for 45 mins. still funny but hunger setting in.  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
@jollygoodcook I’ll let you know if they’ll make it back in time for dinner  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
Fleet called. F: wait who r u w/? Me: uhh F: ? P, in background: more recently interior design has embraced independence and fluidi  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
P: -as discussed by Allmer (2008)- N: *equally intrigued & stubbord & confused* while an interesting perspective-  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
discussion and opinions on curtains nearing the 1hr mark. this is my life these are my choices  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
F: hello? Bev? I’ll call you back later  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
stripe lined pair have caught both their fancy. arguing has ceased for mischievous eye twinkling #suspicious  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
P: oh now these are the kind of curtains we need. N: I fully agree. Definitely. Me: cool but they're ugly  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
P: But babe. N: you don't think so? P: neutral colours. N: good weight. P: fall nicely. N: good fabric. P: a bargain. N: more than adequate  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
Me: cool but they're ugly  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
F & N:........... Me: ............... Them: ............ Me:.......... Them: ......... Me: fuck it let's pick these ones and go.  
  
 **Bev** @followrivers  
we have escaped curtain shopping!!! Curtains are ugly but I have to agree they fit the mood of the room. I need a nap.

* * *

**Bev** @followrivers  
so Nightingale just confessed that he & Peter were joking & thought the ones we picked were ugly from the start   
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
N: you seemed contented with them once we got them home so all’s well that ends well, wouldn’t you say?  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
Me: of course  I’m just going to… go for a swim……  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
alright Peter says he thinks we could switch the sofa next. Brace yourselves.

* * *

**Bev** @followrivers  
so Ty came round and said she hates the curtains :/ :/ :/  
  
**Bev** @followrivers  
T: who picked these they’re hideous. Me: ask Peter. Peter: 

**Author's Note:**

> \- I know nothing about interior design or buying curtains.  
> \- However, the article Beverley links and the one Peter references are real, and quite interesting reads!  
> \- In case it isn't clear, @jollygoodcook is Molly's canon(?) Twitter handle while @valkyrieninja is the one I made up for Guleed. It's an attempt.


End file.
